Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Discontinued IKEA Items (with self-assembly instructions)
The Möbius Remsa Soffa
Assembly Instructions
1. Lay out 67 looped sock-like bags as shown in A-17.
2. Floiling (G) must be inverse to Tally (Z).
3. Use Jektor pry tool (T#3) to inject filling (#199) in each sealed tube.
4. Connect Small Time Delay Rotor (9) to Stiff Nipple (SN).
5. Depress Small Time Delay Rotor (9).
6. Hold Tab AL (Tab AL). Check for leaks.
7. Release Small Time Delay Rotor (9).
8. Tighten all 67 Äkremæ fasteners with Äkremæ fastener widget (W).
9. Depress Small Time Delay Rotor (9) again. Take at least three steps away from the Möbius Remsa Soffa assembly.
10. Mobius tubes should now inflate and interlock and form shape as shown in Schematic 1-A-1.
11. Test with 300 KG lead pipe (L3205) prior to assuming a seated position on your new Möbius Remsa Soffa.
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IKEA Item# 333, Santa Fe Collection: “Mesa Tres Patas”. Description: a lovely and functional addition to any living room, particularly for you “stay at home” types. Lifetime Warranty.
Self-Assembly instructions:
1 - remove the rectangular pine laminate table top (“mesa”) from packaging and place upside down on floor. Make sure the circular hole in each corner is clean and unobstructed.
2 - remove first leg (“pata”), and insert one end into a hole in the mesa top. Any old hole!
3 - stand up, next to the vertically secured pata/leg. Do not lean one way or the other (remain perfectly balanced) and let the middle knuckles of one hand graze the upstanding pata. Make a mark on the pata where the pata touches the knuckle. Use a #2 pencil.
4 - using an electric or manual saw, remove the top of the pata/leg right at your mark. Make sure its a level cut!
5 - remove the two remaining patas from packaging and lay on floor next to one another.
6 - place the original pata that you have cut to size next to the two remaining patas.
7 - mark the two remaining patas with the #2 pencil at the length of the cut pata.
8 - using a circular or manual saw, cut the remaining patas to match. When done, you should have three (“tres”) patas of equal length, side by side.
9 - insert all tres/three of the patas/legs into the holes in the mesa/table. Any old holes!
10 - flip table right set up, all three patas touching the floor. Stand next to the remaining hole in the mesa, the one without a pata.
11 - holding the weight of the mesa in one hand, insert the middle finger of the other hand into the hole in the mesa. The only hole! Make a fist.
12 - stand up, perfectly balanced. The mesa\table should be perfectly level. Congratulations and enjoy!
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Säber R⛢: Iconic Glaphnat Splegs for every house.
EZ Installation:
- Release the mechanism
- Transmute OR Transmogrify the Whipclip mechanism
- Flip the oval rasteur to 20 degrees right
- Insert the Glaphnat Splegs
- Please recycle the outer Klępper
- Say I’m Sorry. Done!
- When you need a Spleg, you’ll know it. And so will we.
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