Savoring The View
savoring the view from zalensky's ornate dacha
overlooking the black sea of putin's brain
alarmingly beautiful in all directions
but oh what sullies the horizon, my countrymen?
oh! is that a little man down there
eating himself alive?
the dacha looms large from down below –
beady eyes leer at the gracious verandah
where a somewhat jewish comedian president
lavishes laughter and leadership
on a feisty nation unafraid to live large
or die larger
or possibly dream of all possible possibilities perhaps
beyond fiction we deem this unreality
over yonder
the duma of a dictator's miasmic dream
all swirling together and howling mad
the dumbness and the guns and the
cavalcades of badness
and the wild wild hope
that the bad guy will die
sobbing low below
the dacha where the good guy lives large
the good guy dies large
forever large in the sky dacha
my own personal schadenfreude:
putin’s puckered brain and swollen face
dilated by noxious gasses
from hollowed dreams of rotting empires
a tsarist zombie feeding on its own wasting gray matter
royal ukase turned toilet paper
shit stain made manifest mutiny
but i digress…
zalensky turns from the view over the black sea of putin’s brain
looks back down the hallway where faces peer out
babushkas smiling with steaming samovars
pushkin poets raise thumbs up while scribbling verse
a real new history brought near to present day
wishing him well, so very extremely well
Occidental Dental Hedge Fund & Superior Colliculae
with Soft Serve Ice Cream
it was an accidental occidental dental
hedge fund
that did me in
it just happened that way
sudden like
overnight
during dark-time sunk low
and knee deep
the nocturnal eclipse of the sun
that doesn’t rise
before o’dark thirty
my superior colliculae
kicked with a vengeance
a stiff jab to the back of the head
struck dumb with
a startle reflex that snapped my porky chops
like a chain gang gone mad for hard bebop
the dental arbitrage market
flipped flopped and zipped
a future switch switched
and the k-k-klaxxons blared
seizing my trapezius
shrinking my biscupids
into mere cuspids
as i stood on two feet square
of piezo electric aluminum foil
connected
wired as it were
to a current
ac/dc
on the bossy aussie channel
semi-serious xm
radio
xerxes medulla horror show radio
draining the soft-serve ice cream reservoir
of my soul
on the elevator to somewhere
to the outer banks
of ursa major
but who cares where
if there’s ice cream there
i would lick it off
an estuary
a rivulet of sweet tensile joy
as long as it was soft
and served
underhand,
elevated
one happy meatball of soft-serve ice cream
creme de la fucking creme
of the everso startling
occidental
accidental
colliculoidal
dental
hedge fund
your ass
my heart
our love
over 100 patients potentially infected
space to grow
act on the artistic impulse
impulsively
but there was a problem
we shoulda looked at the map
the end of the world
could be a lot of fun
---------------------
now i am an expert
a cognoscente connoiseur
a smooth sommelier
i have tasted wines
in california
i liked all of them
______________________________________________
middle of the night
- Bardot!
Canoe Poem #4
by Matt Rosenberger
Canoe Poem #2
by Matt Rosenberger
O, Turnberry!
Tom Watson just made the cut at the British Open - at age 64, the oldest golfer ever to do so. Five years ago, at age (one moment, hmm, 64 minus 5 is...) 59, he was poised over an 8 foot putt on the 18th and final hole at Turnberry, one of the oldest and most venerated venues of the Open. Make it and he wins. That putt was the culmination of an extraordinary four day run which saw him turn back time to lead a field of world class players fully a generation younger, all vying for one of golf's most treasured trophies. He had won the Claret Jug as a much younger man, but this was a miraculous moment - make the putt, and he becomes the oldest player ever to win this or any other major tournament, by a long shot. This poem was written by Whirled HQ in the aftermath, and is reposted here in honor of his making the cut in 2014. It is best read out loud, in one's best Scottish brogue.
O turnberry ye hardy hunk of tortured scottish turf
the wind and sea and weather pound thy earth
like fists of duffers flailing
O turnberry ye thirsty sponge for tears and blood
blood of fools, blood of kings, blood of bogeyed holes
blood seeped and supple in your dirt
O turnberry your claws sunk deep in the shallows of the outer Firth of Clyde
you've your own moon, turnberry, a half farthing rising in the pounding sea
we call it the Ailsa Craig, fat and edged in the sinking sun
O Turnberry your winds do twist and thrash and overturn
laughing at gravity herself
tossing a dimpled ball on a celtic whim
O merciless Turnberry, ye spiteful course
tom watson slashes through your puzzled links
tom watson aged 59 stands atop turnberry aged eons
O Turnberry summoning gales of inevitability
the odds stacked against goodness and mercy and truth of heart
favoring the brutal sea, the lumpy heaving foam-frothed sea
O Turnberry ye exquisite Scottish poison
poised on the 18th hole, old tom watson needs an 8 foot putt
to win the Claret Jug and eternity, immune to wind and war
O Turnberry! Old Tom Watson!
good god man, it's an eight foot putt to immortality
gird thy loins, stroke true, the cup is in your grasp!
O good god, turnberry, did you rise in green envy?
brook naught that's straight and true?
Turnberry
reserves immortality for
Turnberry
by the boy poets, flailing in ecstatic denial
. . . so we wrote two.
Poem #1
Poem #2
Office Politics
that's me on the fortieth floor
second window from the left
peering out at nothing in particular
I used my personal politcial power
to get a window office
to see the sun, see other buildings
see people scrambling below
people glad to finally see the sun, any sun
locked within a nippy, chilly, over cooled cubicle
worse than the blackest hole of Calcutta
(except for the cold)
worse than The Snake Pit. Remember the movie?
where Olivia de Havilland found herself
in an insane asylum
and couldn't remember how she got there
caught up in the bureaucracy of the institution
the regimentation of the staff
some brutal and ignorant
a few kindhearted
most just killing time
cubicle time
opening scene everybody would die except
just two or three would survive, to live
gruesomely scabby yet riveting lives
the survivors would have cleft chins
and perfect breasts that heave on command
or off
and they, the stars, the beautiful stars
would repopulate the earth in 90 minutes
make it a better place for kids and golden retrievers
the movie crests into naked euphoria
in the first two seconds
when bill o’reilly explodes in a deluge of magma
that has surged up from the earth’s core
directly into fox studios
the remaining eighty-eight minutes
with the movie’s perfect pacing
of cliffhanger rescues followed by frenzied fucking
feature nancy grace, the former prosecutor
whose southern accent
with its bitter yet come hither edge
makes me and all other cinematic
dorky ass viewers of cable tv cringe
and lust mightily at the same time
her full lips feverish and shiny
her open thighs ready to receive
the burning priapus of the sub-plot
anyway i digress from my movie idea
of the people who recopulate the world
and for a brief time live happily, so happy
in utah, where the mormons used to practice posture
before my movie sent them all to kingdom come
in the denouement, just before the climax
a really horrible thing happens, finally
after reams of crazy deaths and ecstatic couplings
but strangely, it seems rightly horrible
you might even say – apropos of
all the things, the death, the life
the well-hung dialogue, the rippling tears
the crippling laughter laced in the sacral bone
the very emulsion of the film itself
all melting together – beguilingly
a strange comic relief, a last straw
in the unending beverage that is my movie
above the whisper quiet
weather control unit
in rows
red baked rows
stacked like
bricks
a lotta bricks
a million bricks
stacked up
and across
up
and across
up
and across
in lines
that don’t line up
mortar brick
brick mortar
every where
a sun-baked mortar grid
above the weather control unit
sun creeps ticktock
across the bricks
slow as a brick factory
bakes bricks red in the sun
lots of angles
lots of cubes
lots of mortar
big stack
big view
by the boy poets, reviewing the viewing
Muh-Muh-Muh My Fedora
look to my fingers to see the other side
on one side this and the other side that
can't remember where I left my hat
gat
and then boom went the noise
boom
boom boom boom went the noise
and I found my fedora
yes, I found my fedora
I'm tellin' you
I found my fedora
exactly where I left it
Rotel
Ro-tel
motel
coat tail
blood cell
ground swell
death knell
ark cell
farewell
get well
hard sell
misspell
repel
raise hell
propel
retell
soft sell
pastel
alarm bell
william tell
silica jell
liberty bell
Indelibility Study
Writing
with a thick carpenters pencil
is work
like trimming hedges
laying asphalt
or thinking
I want a thin pencil,
number 2, a clean, unused eraser,
sharpened, hovering expectant ..
( like my favorite nipple )
schoolbus paint sporting an orange head
better watchout cuz shes loaded with lead,
quick on the draw, takin aim on the paper
six sides shootin to a pointed taper
the more you grind the sharper she gets
I like my pencil more than jumbo jets ---
shes faster, you know, to any destination
she flies to the limits of imagination
my pencil is hip
number 2 with a clue
droppin lead on the page
oh yeah, its the rage
with a point to make
or break
as you will
not a quill to dip
on the renaissance trip
It's My Pencil And It's Hip
[on the way to]
My Car
This is IT, crystal
these few steps, perfect
glow of lamplight on the windshield
beads of perspiration rolling down the side door
All pristine, suspended, as I approach
I see... the lock... down... and the keys...
in the ignition.
The panels of a '49 woody wagon
come undone, a looping trajectory
one polished car door comes free
so I open it, slip in
"Where to?" Nobody asked.
"Timbuktu," I didn't answer,
"and make it snappy."
....a path, a way, leading, meandering
forgetting the way to my car,
found myself unfound myself, laughing....
twenty-nine feet above the back yard
You Need a License to Go to Cuba
you need a government license
to go ninety miles off the mainland
to an estranged island
frozen in 1959
’57 Chevy’s healthier there than here
voodoo catholic deities fix what you didn’t know
staring stoic from shiny reconstructed dashboards
Meyer Lansky still lives there
snookering dominoes at dawn
waiting for Castro to cough in the shadows
hotels with cracked plaster
and a smart pomade at the front desk
bleached tear-stained postcard villages
sun dried sandpapered and rough from time
soft as the Caribbean breeze
hard as the bite of dark local rum
offered up and drunk
at the feet of a sultry Jesus
who bleeds molasses
and does the meringuè
to go there
or make love to a diplomat
who will whisper “pocos nadas” in your
hairy Norte Americano ear
home of sugar tobacco steam
rum you’d drink with Mary Magdalene
six hour diatribes from comrade Fidel
the coolest heat and
the hottest cool
it hasn’t changed
but we’re coming anyway
by the boy poets offshore, way offshore