They made us write a poem using any of the following words:

amber cloven beaten grating  bump shift craven  solicit ready mad leave left crazy shift frog snake eyes flake inner mind over under vague nebulous hazy gauzy cleave verboten misbegotten rage slashes grievously across a golf ball crafty left hander  buzzard manhole shithole labyrinth marathon rubbish beaver strawberry mind fink enthrall compose radish verboten syntactical navel naval switchboard flog monstrosity garbage posthumorously harridan pneumatic vixen jaded razored buttery  ragged corruptible veal scoundrel ambient polar vortex mythology flamboyant summery fetch rampant plebeian ambidextrous unicycle unbidden

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. . .  so we wrote two. 

Poem #1

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eyes gauzy

crafty left hander

strawberry beaver

verboten vague buttery

polar vortex

jaded razored radish

ambient veal ready

snake eyes shift

nebulous shithole

ambient scoundrel

unbidden, rampant

flamboyant inner raven

slashes grievously across

veal garbage

mad mind fink

marathon grating

Poem #2

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the summery nebulous

polar vortex

unicycled unbidden

across the naval switchboard

the plebeian flakes,

all jaded and craven

fetch misbegotten rage

buzzards enthrall

the razored radish

vixens cleave

to the strawberry labyrinth

top nine lobstervations from outside the general area:

1. everything’s all fucked up because of sex.
2. the jury is still out on plywood, but how right can twelve people be?
3. life is a job whether you have one or not.
4. grow more tumbleweed.
5. waffle irons are so decisive.  
6. numbers drive the world economy, and they don’t even exist.
7. camping is so in tents.
8. seek the plethora.
9. divide your observations into groups of eleven.
10. cheese becomes cheesier over time because it just does.

No Background to Check

While applying for a job as a Semi Conductor on the CSX rail lines it was discovered that  Hiram Flatporm had no background to check. CSX HR spokesmodel E.L. Fandorth told company CEO Leyburn Whatscorthy that they had run numerous background checks to no avail. "Actually we found 2 things: 1) Flatporm owns a 1997 pre-GW Bush slant 6 dual aught 40 hemi head Chevron Alongonqin with one broken tail light and 2) there was a little bit of background noise in the lower left of the photograph he submitted with his employment application. Other than that, zippo. Pretty amazing because we Googled the hell out of this guy".