Muh-muh-muh My Fedora

left in the position of far and wide 
look to my fingers to see the other side 
on one side this and the other side that 
can't remember where I left my hat 
gat 
and then boom went the noise 
boom  
boom boom boom went the noise 
and I found my fedora 
yes, I found my fedora 
I'm tellin' you 
I found my fedora 
exactly where I left it

News of the Week

Item: Upyersjohn, the rising pharmaceutical company, has announced the newest in contrapreventive medicine: the Clinic in a Condom. Licensed and distributed under the name brand, "Terminator XXX", these condoms mark the latest in nanotechnological convenience. Not only is the Terminator lined with antigens for the twelve major sexually transmitted diseases, but it also features an aqueous film of biolipids in which swim scores of microbiologically genengineered urologists, infectious diseases and sperm killing experts. "Yes, of course they're licensed" said Jonny Wadd, PR rep for Upyersjohn, "they just have really small diplomas."

See Major Fortissimo

Item: Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” fail to impress Richmond couple. Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln E. Lee checked out the movie from the Strawberry Street Slacks That Fit Gift Shop and Video Rental Store World, and readied themselves for a unique cinematic spectacle only to find that the whole “drama” was clunky and artificial and without either believable characters or redeeming social value or scary birds or a plot for chrissakes, which was especially annoying since it cost them four bucks out of their slacks that fit and video rental budget, not to mention the time spent travelling to and from the rental store in some pretty sucky weather. “I got yer Birds right here,” said Mr. Video Store Magnate, like he was all of a sudden some kinda Confederate general before Ft. Sumter. But two hours later, when The Birds was over, it as quiet as Appomatox throughout the ununited union. “That’s when I changed my name from Bob to Lincoln,” confided the enigmatic Lincoln E. Lee.

Words of the Week

Villionaire: The rich bad person we all want to be.

Doon: When your comprehension of the day peaks at lunch.

Dunderbreast: Nursing a bad idea. 

Radio-Active

the sofa is a radio

the sofa is radio active

searching for signals

sit on the left, pick up NPR

on the right, get Fock Snooze

in the middle, all the hits

99x Robert “Bob” Robertson

laughing living loving lounging and loathing

coming at you 1000 miles an hour

from downtown Willacoochee, GA

straight from the heartland

straight from the atomic heart

the sofa is a radio-active

radio

Report from Armuchee:

talked to my dad last night. he just took delivery of a Massey Ferguson 45 hp 4wd tractor paid for with insurance money from the fire.  So he's out there with his macular degeneration and his periodic neuropathy, at 94 years old. putting about with this drop dead sexy tractor pulling up burnt cedar trees.  a good hobby at 94, no?  the last time he took delivery of a new tractor was more than 70 years ago, just before he and his brother entered the war.  He may be nutz in his intellectual allegiances but he is rock solid in the Artes Mechanicae.  His twin brother with Alzheimers is still holding steady too.  Makes me wish I had abused myself more when the opportunity was there, as I obviously have an account to cash in, at least on his side of the family.  None daunted, there is still time to exhaust the ledger.   wish we could do it together . . . 

Ro-Tel

Ro-tel 
motel 
coat tail 
blood cell 
ground swell 
death knell
ark cell 
farewell 
get well 
hard sell
misspell 
repel 
raise hell
propel
retell
soft sell
pastel
alarm bell
william tell
silica jell
liberty bell