the fifth second

normally in five seconds
you can’t get the job done
but here at the rodeo
five seconds means you’re losin’

ice cubes and elizabeth taylor
don’t care about the rodeo
but they care about the kind of five seconds
a rodeo takes

in that kind of five seconds
ice cubes could get too warm
and elizabeth taylor could get too hot

if i were the bullrider
i’d spend the first second
talking the bull into throwing me
at elizabeth taylor

the second second
i’d spend flying flying

the third second i’d spend
making love to elizabeth taylor

the fourth second
i wouldn’t care
if the ice cubes melted or not

getting ready

glad you’re coming to town
but a day early?
what would jesus do
if god popped in ahead of time?

maybe the messiah's dining room table
disappeared under three feet
of last week’s silt
what if his garden looked like
a weed testing station
and what if his refrigerator
looked like mine did in college?
would he try to misdirect
the lord of all creation
the ubiquitous omniopunchibus
or would he strut his latest
mystical experience and ask god
wouldja like that scattered, smothered or to go?

maybe he would turn the loaves and fishes
into a chevron algonguin V-12 double dooper
he'd jump in the driver’s seat
without even opening the door
yeah jesus would open the throttle wide
and go for a long fast ride
before he speedolated back
to clean up