Didn’t know it had an “h” in it. The administration was embarrassed to admit that despite his decade-long obsession with The Cradle of Civilization, culminating in a trillion dollar war, Maximum Leader W. Bush did not know that “Baghdad” has an “h” in it. Spokesmodel Ari Fleischer defended, “No, he did not think of it as 'Dad's Bag' and Yes of course he knows it has a “B” and a “D" and an “A.” Journalist Helen Thomas sought to clarify, “Is that because Saddam is BAD?” Spokesmodel Fleischer snorted, “Helen, this is why we don’t call on you more often.”

Stay tuned for an upcoming report on "Baghdad: Two A's, Two D's."

Sheetrock finisher experiences moment of intense "somethingness". “You know where you always see a seam? But now there ain't no seam? lt's like the mud and the gypsum and the paper and the ambient vibe and the whole throbbing universe had done become one endless single smooth wall and you just want to run your fingertips down the wall straight to infinity . . . the one, seamless wall . . . fingers gliding down the endlessly smooth and seamless wall with no bumps, humps, dips or ridges and for one small moment you know the wall, the truth, the meaning of truth, the lie of the truth and it makes you want to sit down and pop the coldest Bud possible and lean back on the long and flawless wall stretching infinitely to your right and infinitely to your left and take a long draw of that beer chilled to absolute zero Kelvin and just say, "Wow! That's one fucking smooth ass dry wall."
The sheetrocker affirmed all queries with a nod, a wink and a knowing smile.