Drop-dead gorgeous weather kills 12 in Polenta, Paraguay. In the southern hemisphere today, beyond the purview of major news organizations, utterly perfect weather conditions conspired to infuse the masses with “energy bursts, blinding giddiness, and total loss of life preserving cognition,” according to El Jefe de Generalissimo grande Raul "el guapo" Zorroto of Paraguay. “The mild temperature, the low humidity, sweet limpid sunshine – everything was perfect. Somebody has to pay.” Children and the elderly lost all resistance to the ideal conditions and tended to run out into the street without looking carefully both ways, where they were immediately squished to death by drivers gleefully trebling the posted speed limits.

Google Buys Web Publishing Tool Blogger. New name to be either Boogle, Glogger, GerGlo, GleBoo or Snot.

Delmar Schwartz attempts to find word in dictionary. Doesn’t know what it is. Fails miserably. “It's why I hate the dictionary,” Schwartz bitched.