Statue

of a statue.

Go figure

and figure.

why don’t we take up quilting?

the question has been asked:

why don’t we take up quilting?

and one possible answer is

we really should

the benefits are many

the sewing machine’s smooth

clicketyclick

warms a winter night

clicketyclick

tapping the foot pedal

laying down rhythmic stitches

slow like a slow dance

pedal to the metal on the straightaways

zooming like a threaded V-8

we could make murals

fabricate geometries of

frost or cheesecake or full, voluptuous ripe melons

with little triangles cut

from the legs of well worn blue jeans

(who knows what went on in there)

not that denim or melons gotta be blue

but you would get the idea

and want to reach for it

like bearded mountain grandmas

we would quilt fervently, quaintily, and manlily

quilt unto the cows, quilt until they come home

when the moon goes down for good and

the sun eclipses itself

why don’t we take up quilting?

Shenandoah Rocks

Watching My Dream

by Calvin Burgamy

Dealing With the Future Now and Then

So, when everything is digitized, will digital reality become really, like, “real”?

Hold on, don't snort too quick here. Yes, I’m talking to you, the snorter in the back, because I will digitize your undignified undigitized snortus before it exits your nasopharyngeal apparatus. I know you are susceptible to digital self-snortification delivered by the etho-digi-sphere. I mean, who isn’t?

Whatever. The great thing about the process, is well…...

this whole process can at any time be deleted, digitally, dutifully.

I think you know what I mean, yes? Thank you for “understanding”, such as it is.  I really appreciate it in a way that is, thankfully for you,

magnified digitally within my own socio-digi-cybersphere, which of course is far superior to any conventional “real” biological/emotional/intellectual magnification of the stated appreciation.

Go Figure

what’s the dates on these figs?

go figure

how many figs in a hectare?

go figure out

what in the fig

is a hectare

then we can figure

out the fig in ure figure

but wait,

how can you figure

the word figure

applies to both numbers

and the shape of B. Bardot?

we need to figure this out

maybe this will help:

2. Bardot!

36-20-35 figuratively

go figure

that curvy figure

these figs are so good

I hafta eat another

but what does that mean?

is that what a fig meant?

o figment of a fig

you render me

the pigment of a pig

so I gotta eat another

no I want six

six figs in one mouth

this mouth right here

six all at once

cheeks bulging like piglets

eating figlets

or giblets

chewing chiclets

like chocolate

chocolate-dipped figs

If you have any questions about this photo, 

feel free to contact us at The Information Center. 

We're in and out. 

This just in: there is free lunch, at least some.

Stay tuned for updates on this breaking story. 

This post is brought to you by our breezy benefactor,

Rent-A-Drunk

"We hang over so you don't have to."

Therefore, due to circumstances and conditions and a certain lack of focus, there is really no solid prepared message to deliver like there most often usually is. All we ask is that if you have a better idea, please send it in. Otherwise, you really oughta use this opportunity the way we are.

Splits in two

Splits in Two by Calvin Burgamy

Lorem Ipsum: The Netiquette Rules

-Never answer an email with a fax. 

-Don’t floss with MS-DOS.

-Don’t think you are smart when you say “the internets.”

-Use the phone for anything but talking.

-Vivamus euisimod dolor id tristique internetus dummioso.

-Spam ain’t worth the ones and zeros it was written on.

-Weave portmanteaux into your internet fiber optic badinage. 

-Always never say, “Ah, well, when I was at Stanford . . . or was it Oxford?“

-Don’t go on and on about your hard drive and shit.

News of The Week

Prominent Citizen Stumped By Stump Speech.

Perched atop the hallowed “democracy stump” outside the Huffakers, Nevada courthouse steps, Thorbus "Bux" Buxley IV, leading citizen leader and Board of Supervisors supervisor, admitted to admittedly shocked reporters that he did not “get” the latest stump speech.

"You mean the one that was just now delivered? Just now?" asked cub reporter Nip Tuck of the Huffakers Daily Chronic.

"Yeah, that one," snapped Buxley, performing a graceful demi-plie atop the oaken stump.

Tuck nibbled the rubber end of his news pencil and replied softly, "Well, sir, you delivered it."

"Of course I did - and it was an epic enunciation!" Buxley's hands rose majestically, "But I could neither process nor comprehend it. Too many fifty-cent words and strange allusions to unicorns, necromancers and sacrilicious events. Didn't make no sense a-tall." After a short pause to “do the robot”, Buxley asked plaintively, "Did it?"

Volunteered  volunteer Fire Chief Moe Handlin, playing with the bic in his pocket, "I did like the part about me."

Mayor Candy Hass didn't care for the undertones of it all and could only glower and practice furrowing his brow.

However, Wichita Lineman Miles Lineaus did enjoy the summary exegesis connecting free will and cheap beer.

"Well," mused Supervisor Buxley, ignoring the comments and slowly tracing the circumference of the democracy stump with an outstretched toe, "in the end I guess it was a pretty good stump speech. I mean, look, it stumped even me."

"

GivingThanksGiving

Well we ate a lot, and it was really great food even if a fairly novice try at a twenty-five pound turkey with lotsa vegetables and grains to back it up in case of disaster but the back-ups emerged as ardent aromatic roasty compliments to the delectable steamy tender meat at a great big pair of candlelit tables united in linen seating thirteen more related and less related peoples of the places and the bloodlines. Every thing and every morsel and every peoples glowed. After tart creamy conserved summertime desserts, we gulped cold air and danced like white water.

yellow on yellow

 

 Eagle contemplates statue of Veronica

One World Trade

Track

Track by Calvin Burgamy

Running Outa Road Paint

the job sounded easy:

“just one white stripe on U.S. 50,

our truck, you buy the paint”

it musta been the new hard times

answering too quickly,

“sure, no problem”

but there was a problem

we shoulda looked at the map

first

U.S. Highway 50

starts in Ocean fuckin’ City, Maryland

stops in Sacra fuckin’ Mento, California

one white stripe

one-eighth inch thick

three long thousand miles long

how many gallons is 3000 miles?

the guy at the road paint store

says thirteen hundred seventy-seven

but he was just guessin’

guessin’

thirteen hundred seventy-seven

is a good number, spoken with conviction

we say “sure, no problem”

and it was no problem

to run outa road paint

in Jefferson fuckin’ City, Missouri

the stripe stopped smack

in front

of the one state fuckin’ capitol

nobody’s ever heard of

until they run outa road paint

we park on this bluff

above the Missouri River

taking it in, stripe or no stripe

waiting for more road paint

not waiting for more road paint

looking upstream

Some New Words

Splouzy: When you think bigamy means big of me.

Hopera: Practically screaming while jumping all over the place.

Odition: When you're really good at adding a zero.

Unibonkle: Forgetting how to ride a bicycle while riding a bicycle.

Condenst: When you're taken aback and affronted.

Sloor: A one way street that goes the wrong way.

Prettiot: When your face looks better than your ideas.

Klammittee: The worst thing that ever happened since the last worst thing that ever happened.

Journouveau: A newspaper where you just make stuff up.

Felicimeat: A happy song about cannibalism.

 we are embers

 tracing flame

 across the arc

 that made us from flame 

 fire in the sky

 fire in the belly

 fire in the eye

 hot in a cool universe